In interpersonal relationships, quarrels are inevitable. However, saying hurtful things during an argument can cause more hurt and pain to both parties. Therefore, it is important to learn how to avoid saying hurtful things during an argument.
1. Control emotions
Emotions are one of the main reasons why we say hurtful things. When we are in negative emotions such as anger, frustration, or anxiety, we tend to lose our minds and speak arrogantly. Therefore, controlling your emotions is the first step to avoid saying hurtful things.
To control your emotions, you can try taking deep breaths, counting, or stepping away from the argument to calm down for a while. Doing so can help calm our emotions and allow us to think and express our opinions more rationally.
2. Listen to the other party
In a quarrel, we tend to only focus on our own opinions and feelings and ignore the other party's thoughts and feelings. This kind of one-sided listening can easily lead to misunderstandings and escalation of conflicts.
In order to avoid saying hurtful words, we should learn to listen to each other. Listening does not mean acquiescing to the other person's point of view, but respecting the other person's existence and feelings. By listening, we can better understand each other's position and express our own opinions more pointedly.
3. Use the "I" tone
In a quarrel, using accusatory language can easily anger the other party and trigger a more intense quarrel. To avoid this happening, we can use the "I" tone to express our opinions and feelings.
For example, we can say: "I feel hurt," instead of "You always hurt me." Doing so can reduce the accusatory element, make the other party more receptive to our point of view, and reduce the intensity of the argument.
4. Avoid offensive words
Using offensive words in an argument often makes the other person feel insulted and hurt. Therefore, we should avoid using offensive words to avoid exacerbating arguments.
Instead, we can choose to use neutral or positive words to express our opinions. For example, we can say, "I disagree with you," instead of "Your opinion is stupid." Doing so can help ease tensions and promote better communication between both parties.
5. Seek compromise
Quarrels often arise because both parties hold different views on a certain issue. To avoid escalating arguments and hurtful words, we can try to find a compromise.
Compromise does not mean giving up one's position, but making concessions to reach a solution acceptable to both parties. By seeking compromise, we reduce the need to argue, which in turn reduces the likelihood of saying hurtful things.
6. Apology and forgiveness
If IWhen we accidentally say hurtful words during a quarrel, a timely apology and forgiveness is an important step in repairing the relationship.
Apologizing does not mean that we admit defeat or admit our mistakes, but it does mean that we are sorry for hurting the other person. Also, learn to forgive the hurtful things the other person said in order to move on.
Avoiding hurtful words in an argument requires controlling our emotions, listening to the other person, using an "I" tone, avoiding offensive words, seeking compromise, and apologizing and forgiving. Through these methods, we can better handle arguments and maintain good interpersonal relationships.
