Feelings, like food, have a shelf life, but the difference is that the shelf life of food cannot be extended, but feelings can. If you want your relationship to last forever, you must learn to extend the shelf life of your relationship. So what should we do specifically?
Some people think: I just need to take good care of this person, and I just need to be special to this person. Okay, this person will be inseparable from me and will keep walking with me.
However, relying on yourself to invest everything in order to get the other person to stay by your side, there are only two results with a high probability:
1. What you do is actually of little value. A person who likes him can do it, so this person chooses someone else
2. This person may be kept by you, but only because "find an honest man to marry, and then go out to play by yourself" ”
The continuous supply of freshness is definitely not something you put all your efforts into designing for this person.
This is definitely one of the biggest misunderstandings: many people think that if they put in the effort to add a little more variety to the relationship between two people, the other party will find it fresh and exciting.
Today’s home-cooked stir-fries, tomorrow’s candlelight dinner, tomorrow’s exquisite Japanese cuisine... In essence, aren’t you eating together?
It’s also about exercising, today in nurse uniform, tomorrow as maid Is there any real difference between pretending to be a workplace OL in the future?
The real novelty is to make this person constantly sigh "Oh my God, it turns out you still have this side" - this person Continuously discovering new value in you is the feeling of freshness.
The most awesome novelty in love is actually "developing an idol" - this person is relatively gentle and cute at the beginning I was a girl, but later I discovered that she also had a side of academic excellence. After working, this person actually became a professional elite. After getting along for a long time, I found that this person also has a good business acumen...
Such a sense of surprise , is the most attractive: continuing to watch a person's continuous growth and development, with new strengths and advantages constantly appearing in front of one's eyes.
This will not only continue to give this person a sense of freshness, but also firmly grasp this person: because since he has known you, you have been growing and changing, and he never knows where you will be next. What a surprise.
And if you want to keep catching someone, the best way is actually "uncertainty of feedback".
When a person already knows clearly what kind of treatment he will get for what he does, do you think this person will still work hard to perform? Of course not - I want you to treat me well, and I will Be nice to you; I want to be alone, so I deliberately distance myself from you.
So the best way is to increase your "feedback uncertainty". In human terms:
In love, you cannot always be this person. If he is good to you, you will be good to him immediately; if this person asks you for anything, you will agree immediately.
I am in a good mood today, so I will buy you a gift myself, because you don’t need a gift in return. I'm happy because you're worth it; you asked me to have dinner, but I might have refused, for no other reason than that I wanted to be alone...
Being in love requires a certain amount of time. "Feedback Uncertainty".
Only in this way can the other party be more positive and care about your feelings if they are not sure what you mean. .
